It's so sad that Andy-boy keeps forgetting to update his little writing project. So busy with his little romance. Too busy.

The Vent

That's what this is here for, right? So I can vent? I mean, I apologize if I cause offense, but I'm just so steamed at the moment. Darren and I got into a big argument about finances. He claimed that I didn't fill out some form, but I know I did, and then he tore into me about up and disappearing, so I said he was a crappy manager and it all devolved from there. He told me he was just trying to get me out and about and help me go into the world, but if I wasn't paying him he wouldn't give a damn, would he! It's all false sympathy, he doesn't really care about anyone! He's just a snake! And I'm sorry to the snakes! I could probably do better on my own. I have friends and things now, I've got the courage to go out and take on the world now! The last few performances have gone really well but the amount of money I've been making barely amounts to a trickle! How am I supposed to live like this?

Lady's an accountant, she can help me with paperwork. And I'm not absent minded, I can't believe he'd say that! I'm fairly good at math, I mean, I never failed in High School! And I know all the people at the places I do gigs somewhat! I can get work from them. I have a friend group now! And I've been to big cities and they're not as interesting as Darren makes them seem. I'm way more confident and smart and together and organized now and


I just found the missing paper under my computer.

I better go apologize...

The Absence

Gosh (I'm really sorry for using gosh and probably offending atheist and believer alike), it's been a while! I'm so sorry, four followers, for such a long absence! I know most of you don't really care about-- well, that's more presumptions, isn't it! Sorry! But I've had the time of my life over the last few weeks (for once). Well, the first week I didn't post anything because there just wasn't anything to post. But the second week, I visited the bar again, and I met a lovely young lady, whose name I won't give out in case of stalkers, not that I'm presuming you're a stalker!

But this Lady was such a sweetheart, she listened to me and I talked for once! (Not that this is implying anything about mute people!) So we chatted away and before I knew it it was past midnight. She was just getting up to leave when I panicked and blurted that the view from my balcony was fantastic! I live pretty high up, you see, and the light pollution isn't too bad, so you can see all the stars. Here's what surprised me; the Lady said yes to my company. She came back to my house with me, and we shared a bottle of wine on the balcony and talked some more. It was a wonderful night, with a bright moon and not much starlight. Somehow I got around to talking about my nan and how I wanted to chat with her properly, but she lives in the city. Lady said we should go, so the very next day, we did! I visited Nan, and we looked around the city together. Then I came back and had to do a bunch of shows since I'd done nothing for two weeks. I'm glad I'm the type of artist that can take a break once in a while!

Girl showed up to a few of the puppet shows, always near the back. She looked a bit more... I'm not sure how to put this without sounding sexist or weak, but I guess she seemed a bit more threatening? I mean, I'm easily unnerved I suppose. I'm not sure if Lady is a friend or what, but we've been hanging out and she likes my puppets, and so I'm happy anyway. Darren is pissed that I missed two weeks of work but I've been working and working to make it all up and I apologized a lot. So all's a bit better in the world than it was a few weeks ago!

The Bar Visit

So we went to the bar, well I went to the bar with some of the people from the writer's circle and some of the people the people from writer's circle knew and the Girl was there. So of course I was kinda freaking out because I had been a predatory jerk and scared her off and made a total fool of myself. For the first half of the evening I spent the entire time trying to avoid the Girl and ended up talking to a random older lady. I'm not sure if it's fair to call her an older lady, or even very P.C. She was 80-ish, but I think you're supposed to say longer-living person. She was very nice, and fascinating, though. We had a good long chat, or she talked to me and I listened.

And then I was going to get another drink, and the Girl cornered me by the bar, and started talking to me like I was a human and not some pond slime she'd found at the bottom of her shoe. She said she was sorry she had missed a couple of performances, and wanted to know where the next ones were so she would be sure to show up on time. So I gave her a couple of dates and locations, but I was stuttering so much, and she just laughed. I don't know if this is normal or what, my dad was single and I didn't have any sisters, so I don't understand girls. Is that fair to say? Or is that sexist, I don't want to be sexist, I'm just confused. Or is that sexist in itself? But we talked for a bit, and then a group of people tried to teach me how to play darts, and I lost at darts a lot. Then I walked home in the moonlight. It was nice. I wouldn't mind doing it again.

The Long Wait

Gosh, I'm so sorry I haven't posted in here so long! I've just been, well, so busy, and I'm never usually busy, so I don't have very much internet time because I haven't quite figured out how to balance a social life(?!) with everything else! But the trip to the coffeeshop went well, even though I didn't really say anything the first time round, and they told me they meet on Sundays and Thursdays so I could I come to the Thursday ones as well, so I've been out twice a week for the last three weeks! I know it doesn't seem like much, but for someone as pathetic as me it's really a massive achievement. Uh, yeah, so it's going really well. It's a mixed group of people but there are some people my age, and it's probably good for me to be talking to people and not just puppets.

Uhh.. I'm sorry, I just really don't know how to well, talk on this blog thing. I thought I did but I guess I just don't have that interesting of a life, there's just nothing big to chat about usually. I had three gigs and they all went okay but not enough to make a proper living off of. Nothing else much has happened. Although I did get invited out by one of the people at the writer's circle to a bar this weekend, and I'm kinda wigging out about it. I'm really not sure I want to go I mean when I get drunk I do stupid things, and I know I'm using personal pronouns and talking about myself too much but I don't really know what other people get up to or anything, and anyway I think I might just not go. It's too much to think about really. I don't know what to do about that. Maybe I will go. No, it seems like a bad idea.

Alright, sorry for taking up your time (again) internet. 

I woke up today. Time to get to work.

The Moment of Relief

Oh lord above, thanks to him, unless your not religious, I'm not into religion much myself. But it's a good phrase to signal relief, unless it offended you, in which case I am really sorry. To move on from that, everything has been good recently, or at least on the up and up. Because after many hours on the phone, after filling out forms and getting references and bank details and such, I've finally got my grant in the tubes, so I won't have to worry about money so much, which is a huge relief. Unless you've got problems with money at the moment and my boasting has just made everything seem so much worse, in which case I'm sorry again. I'm starting to think this whole blog is me apologizing.

I had another performance the other day, and the Girl was there. So I didn't completely scare her off forever. Good thing too! She really is quite pretty. Wait, is it PC to say that? I don't want to objectify women or be scary or anything. Ooh, I really hope she doesn't find this blog, it'd seem like I was leering at her all the time or stalking her or something. But the show went really well, though again I'm pretty biased so you might not want to take my word as read. The audience might just have been feeling sorry for me or something. But in any case I made a lot more money than usual, so I could send some cash to gran, and I had a good time anyway. The kids got really into the show. It was pretty great.

Also, later today I'm going to a writers circle in a coffeeshop, and I'm really nervous because I bet they won't like me. I've gotta go anyway, Darren says I need to have more people to talk to in real life or I'll go crazy and start talking to my puppets. I regret writing that now, it makes me seem crazier than I actually am. Well, I should go an try to make some friends at least. If you don't mind I guess I'll update on how the writers circle goes or something. Hopefully well.