The Bar Visit

So we went to the bar, well I went to the bar with some of the people from the writer's circle and some of the people the people from writer's circle knew and the Girl was there. So of course I was kinda freaking out because I had been a predatory jerk and scared her off and made a total fool of myself. For the first half of the evening I spent the entire time trying to avoid the Girl and ended up talking to a random older lady. I'm not sure if it's fair to call her an older lady, or even very P.C. She was 80-ish, but I think you're supposed to say longer-living person. She was very nice, and fascinating, though. We had a good long chat, or she talked to me and I listened.

And then I was going to get another drink, and the Girl cornered me by the bar, and started talking to me like I was a human and not some pond slime she'd found at the bottom of her shoe. She said she was sorry she had missed a couple of performances, and wanted to know where the next ones were so she would be sure to show up on time. So I gave her a couple of dates and locations, but I was stuttering so much, and she just laughed. I don't know if this is normal or what, my dad was single and I didn't have any sisters, so I don't understand girls. Is that fair to say? Or is that sexist, I don't want to be sexist, I'm just confused. Or is that sexist in itself? But we talked for a bit, and then a group of people tried to teach me how to play darts, and I lost at darts a lot. Then I walked home in the moonlight. It was nice. I wouldn't mind doing it again.

The Moment of Relief

Oh lord above, thanks to him, unless your not religious, I'm not into religion much myself. But it's a good phrase to signal relief, unless it offended you, in which case I am really sorry. To move on from that, everything has been good recently, or at least on the up and up. Because after many hours on the phone, after filling out forms and getting references and bank details and such, I've finally got my grant in the tubes, so I won't have to worry about money so much, which is a huge relief. Unless you've got problems with money at the moment and my boasting has just made everything seem so much worse, in which case I'm sorry again. I'm starting to think this whole blog is me apologizing.

I had another performance the other day, and the Girl was there. So I didn't completely scare her off forever. Good thing too! She really is quite pretty. Wait, is it PC to say that? I don't want to objectify women or be scary or anything. Ooh, I really hope she doesn't find this blog, it'd seem like I was leering at her all the time or stalking her or something. But the show went really well, though again I'm pretty biased so you might not want to take my word as read. The audience might just have been feeling sorry for me or something. But in any case I made a lot more money than usual, so I could send some cash to gran, and I had a good time anyway. The kids got really into the show. It was pretty great.

Also, later today I'm going to a writers circle in a coffeeshop, and I'm really nervous because I bet they won't like me. I've gotta go anyway, Darren says I need to have more people to talk to in real life or I'll go crazy and start talking to my puppets. I regret writing that now, it makes me seem crazier than I actually am. Well, I should go an try to make some friends at least. If you don't mind I guess I'll update on how the writers circle goes or something. Hopefully well.

The Girl

There was a girl at the gig I had last night, and I mean, that's not too unusual, there are girls at most of my gigs, but usually they don't come to more than one. Uh, I mean, not that it's bad! Honestly, I mean, I don't think it's bad, I mean some people think it's bad I'm sure because people have their own opinions and stuff, but I mean, girls don't usually like puppets do they. Wait, sorry, that's sexist isn't it, I just haven't seen a girl come to my show more than once, though that might be because it sucks, but anyway! There was this girl at the gig last night and she was there last time so I think she likes my show, or maybe it's coincidence, but I think it couldn't be, since last time it was in a mall, and this time it was in a theatre, so maybe she saw me and then went to see another show to find out more, or something. I mean, she was cute, I don't usually check out girls because I don't want to be creepy, but she was about my age, I think, and I wasn't ogling her or anything and it's not like I'm going to talk to her ever because I'm bad at talking to people and communicating, especially with girls, I mean I've never had a girlfriend or anything. Yeah, 28 and no girlfriend, and I live all alone in this tiny apartment, and even my mum thinks I'm a loser, and I guess I am really, I mean, I'm totally a loser, I can't handle it really myself. I'm good at puppetry. Really, really good.

So yeah, there was this girl. I think there was actually a guy there too. Maybe he's into the puppets? I mean, that'd be just my luck, or maybe she's married, or has a kid or something. I mean, I should probably just forget about it all, forget the whole thing, or something, because well, I guess, uh, there's no point thinking about it really, I kinda suck at this kind of thing, and stuff, and girls are confusing in the end you know? I just don't know how to react to them. I'm really sorry if you're a girl and I'm sorry I'm being sexist and such a loser but I'm just kinda awkward and confused and stuff and yeah.