The Break-In

Oh gosh, sorry, I forgot to update again. I have a good excuse this time though, so don't be too mad!

Someone broke into my apartment and wrecked the whole place. They destroyed all my puppets except for Harvey and the puppet I found in the park. The insurance company are being really difficult about paying out for replacing them too, even though I need them to work. If they don't come through with the money...I think I might have to give up my art altogether, though the newspaper have said that they'd be delighted to have me on as a full time employee. That would definitely be enough enough money to get by on, though I'd need to cut back on stuff.

Sorry, I'm probably boring you to tears with my financial situation. The more important thing is that I think it was the Girl. I've done a couple of short shows with just Harvey and she hasn't been at them. I gave the police her description but they haven't had any luck finding her just yet. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed though.

The Absence

Gosh (I'm really sorry for using gosh and probably offending atheist and believer alike), it's been a while! I'm so sorry, four followers, for such a long absence! I know most of you don't really care about-- well, that's more presumptions, isn't it! Sorry! But I've had the time of my life over the last few weeks (for once). Well, the first week I didn't post anything because there just wasn't anything to post. But the second week, I visited the bar again, and I met a lovely young lady, whose name I won't give out in case of stalkers, not that I'm presuming you're a stalker!

But this Lady was such a sweetheart, she listened to me and I talked for once! (Not that this is implying anything about mute people!) So we chatted away and before I knew it it was past midnight. She was just getting up to leave when I panicked and blurted that the view from my balcony was fantastic! I live pretty high up, you see, and the light pollution isn't too bad, so you can see all the stars. Here's what surprised me; the Lady said yes to my company. She came back to my house with me, and we shared a bottle of wine on the balcony and talked some more. It was a wonderful night, with a bright moon and not much starlight. Somehow I got around to talking about my nan and how I wanted to chat with her properly, but she lives in the city. Lady said we should go, so the very next day, we did! I visited Nan, and we looked around the city together. Then I came back and had to do a bunch of shows since I'd done nothing for two weeks. I'm glad I'm the type of artist that can take a break once in a while!

Girl showed up to a few of the puppet shows, always near the back. She looked a bit more... I'm not sure how to put this without sounding sexist or weak, but I guess she seemed a bit more threatening? I mean, I'm easily unnerved I suppose. I'm not sure if Lady is a friend or what, but we've been hanging out and she likes my puppets, and so I'm happy anyway. Darren is pissed that I missed two weeks of work but I've been working and working to make it all up and I apologized a lot. So all's a bit better in the world than it was a few weeks ago!

The Long Wait

Gosh, I'm so sorry I haven't posted in here so long! I've just been, well, so busy, and I'm never usually busy, so I don't have very much internet time because I haven't quite figured out how to balance a social life(?!) with everything else! But the trip to the coffeeshop went well, even though I didn't really say anything the first time round, and they told me they meet on Sundays and Thursdays so I could I come to the Thursday ones as well, so I've been out twice a week for the last three weeks! I know it doesn't seem like much, but for someone as pathetic as me it's really a massive achievement. Uh, yeah, so it's going really well. It's a mixed group of people but there are some people my age, and it's probably good for me to be talking to people and not just puppets.

Uhh.. I'm sorry, I just really don't know how to well, talk on this blog thing. I thought I did but I guess I just don't have that interesting of a life, there's just nothing big to chat about usually. I had three gigs and they all went okay but not enough to make a proper living off of. Nothing else much has happened. Although I did get invited out by one of the people at the writer's circle to a bar this weekend, and I'm kinda wigging out about it. I'm really not sure I want to go I mean when I get drunk I do stupid things, and I know I'm using personal pronouns and talking about myself too much but I don't really know what other people get up to or anything, and anyway I think I might just not go. It's too much to think about really. I don't know what to do about that. Maybe I will go. No, it seems like a bad idea.

Alright, sorry for taking up your time (again) internet. 

The Moment of Relief

Oh lord above, thanks to him, unless your not religious, I'm not into religion much myself. But it's a good phrase to signal relief, unless it offended you, in which case I am really sorry. To move on from that, everything has been good recently, or at least on the up and up. Because after many hours on the phone, after filling out forms and getting references and bank details and such, I've finally got my grant in the tubes, so I won't have to worry about money so much, which is a huge relief. Unless you've got problems with money at the moment and my boasting has just made everything seem so much worse, in which case I'm sorry again. I'm starting to think this whole blog is me apologizing.

I had another performance the other day, and the Girl was there. So I didn't completely scare her off forever. Good thing too! She really is quite pretty. Wait, is it PC to say that? I don't want to objectify women or be scary or anything. Ooh, I really hope she doesn't find this blog, it'd seem like I was leering at her all the time or stalking her or something. But the show went really well, though again I'm pretty biased so you might not want to take my word as read. The audience might just have been feeling sorry for me or something. But in any case I made a lot more money than usual, so I could send some cash to gran, and I had a good time anyway. The kids got really into the show. It was pretty great.

Also, later today I'm going to a writers circle in a coffeeshop, and I'm really nervous because I bet they won't like me. I've gotta go anyway, Darren says I need to have more people to talk to in real life or I'll go crazy and start talking to my puppets. I regret writing that now, it makes me seem crazier than I actually am. Well, I should go an try to make some friends at least. If you don't mind I guess I'll update on how the writers circle goes or something. Hopefully well.

The Performance

I'm really sorry for not updating for a while but I also guess I'm not sorry because I kinda suck as a human being, I mean my life is really boring, so I guess I don't really have to apologize because you were probably glad to be shot of me. I mean my life is just so boring and dull and embarrassing that I can't imagine why anyone would ever want to read about it or like me or anything. When I watch films and the characters do stupid stuff I can't stand to watch the films so I can understand why people wouldn't want to read my blog so honestly you don't have to. I mean, I'm a total wreck of a human being, uh, see, after the party I was just so so very embarrassed I couldn't even perform, and I just ended up making masks in my basement for days, and that's really embarrassing to admit to because it seems like the more I write and the more I blog the more pathetic I seem but I just couldn't handle it all after that horrific display at the party.

I finally got around to performing again on Saturday, for some kids. And I did my act, and they were enjoying it, but the girl wasn't there and I felt a bit mopey and one of the littler kids began crying in the Punch and Judy part of the act, and it was really sad and I felt really bad even though I was talking to one of the parents afterwards and she said the little girls sister had run away and the little girl was feeling super sensitive and it wasn't my fault, but I still felt awful. The bit where I let the kids wander around the set and play with the puppets at the end was just more stressful than usual because they were really boisterous and someone broke the nose off of Danielle and I just know she blames me for it. You might say, or you might not, I don't want to put words in your mouth or anything but well, you might maybe perhaps say that puppets can't judge because they don't have brains or something but I can tell they get sad sometimes, at least I think they do. That might just be because I get sad sometimes…

And after I did strike I went and sat in the park for a bit and played with the grass alone because I'm kinda pathetic and lonely. I must have a big glowy sign on my head that says "pathetic" because this one guy from a church or cult or something about the "last" or something came over and started trying to recruit me, though I don't want to judge and say all people who are in religions or cults are gullible or anything. I just feel like they go after gullible and vulnerable people sometimes and well, uh, I guess I'm sorry again. Sorry to religious people and people who are vulnerable sometimes and everyone for wasting your time on this... Oh god I suck.

The Girl

There was a girl at the gig I had last night, and I mean, that's not too unusual, there are girls at most of my gigs, but usually they don't come to more than one. Uh, I mean, not that it's bad! Honestly, I mean, I don't think it's bad, I mean some people think it's bad I'm sure because people have their own opinions and stuff, but I mean, girls don't usually like puppets do they. Wait, sorry, that's sexist isn't it, I just haven't seen a girl come to my show more than once, though that might be because it sucks, but anyway! There was this girl at the gig last night and she was there last time so I think she likes my show, or maybe it's coincidence, but I think it couldn't be, since last time it was in a mall, and this time it was in a theatre, so maybe she saw me and then went to see another show to find out more, or something. I mean, she was cute, I don't usually check out girls because I don't want to be creepy, but she was about my age, I think, and I wasn't ogling her or anything and it's not like I'm going to talk to her ever because I'm bad at talking to people and communicating, especially with girls, I mean I've never had a girlfriend or anything. Yeah, 28 and no girlfriend, and I live all alone in this tiny apartment, and even my mum thinks I'm a loser, and I guess I am really, I mean, I'm totally a loser, I can't handle it really myself. I'm good at puppetry. Really, really good.

So yeah, there was this girl. I think there was actually a guy there too. Maybe he's into the puppets? I mean, that'd be just my luck, or maybe she's married, or has a kid or something. I mean, I should probably just forget about it all, forget the whole thing, or something, because well, I guess, uh, there's no point thinking about it really, I kinda suck at this kind of thing, and stuff, and girls are confusing in the end you know? I just don't know how to react to them. I'm really sorry if you're a girl and I'm sorry I'm being sexist and such a loser but I'm just kinda awkward and confused and stuff and yeah.