The Cast

So I figure I should introduce you to my cast of puppets. Not that I feel obligated to or anything, or that I'm presuming that you'd be interested but...well, my puppets are more interesting than anything I have to say about myself. They're all I have, really.

I start my act with two marionette servant girls called Clémence and Danielle, who start off doing jokes about their stingy employer before noticing that the audience is there and doing the can-can for them. A bit cliché, I know, which is why I try to liven it up by having them mess up the can-can, kick each other in the face and start arguing. It usually gets the audience's attention.

After Clémence and Danielle, I bring out two innamorati or lovers, traditional puppets which developed from the commedia dell'arte style of acting which emerged in late Renaissance Italy. My lovers are called Ortensio e Aurelia. Like many innamorati performances, Ortensio e Aurelia spend the beginning of the performance bickering and jibing each other until Ortensio has to go to work, at which point both he and Aurelia start overdramatically pining for their departed love. Once Ortensio returns home, he and Aurelia act lovey-dovey once again, for a few moments, at least, before returning to their bickering. Not unlike real-life couples in that sense, I suppose. Not that I would know.

Once Ortensio e Aurelia have done their bit, I take another leaf from the commedia dell'arte book with a traditional Punch and Judy performance. As is the case with most Punch and Judy performances, the play has a rough structure but is largely impromptu and allows for a good deal of audience participation, much like a pantomime play. At this point, I usually have the audience's attention for the grand finale.

Through combining the familiar Harlequin archetype from the commedia dell'arte tradition with the modern penchant for fusing ventriloquism with stand-up comedy, I created the character of Harvey the Tramp. My act with Harvey is based primarily on quick back-and-forth banter, as well as commenting on the misfortune of Harvey's life and the stories in the newspapers he sleeps in, which allows me to poke fun at whatever's topical at the moment, which means I can keep the routine fresh.

You know, I love the feeling of being on a stage. I love making people laugh. I love making people applaud. I love taking my bow at the end of the performance, with all my puppets, of course, and knowing that I've made people happy. The thing is, when I'm on stage, I know that people like me. I can see them liking me, I can hear them liking me, I can feel them liking me.

I just can't get that feeling off the stage. Oh, look at me whining. I'm sorry to be unloading my self-pity on you, whoever you are. There are people in the world worse off than me. There are people starving in Niger, being gunned down in Libya and dying of AIDS in South Africa, I shouldn't be complaining. Oh, that sounds arrogant and racist doesn't it? Because I used all African countries and made it sound like I can't complain because at least I'm not like those people. Oh god, I'm sorry if I've offended you and I'm sorry if I've annoyed you by complaining about my problems when there are people far worse off and I'm sorry, in general, for being me.

I hope I didn't offend you.